NORTHGATE COMEDY
Submit your jokes today:

 A cop stops a guy for running a stop sign.
The driver immediately protests " Oh come on, I slowed down! Stop, slow down, what's the difference? "
The cop politely says, " Step out of the car please ", and then proceeds to hit the driver with his nightstick.
While swinging away, the cop asks " Sir, would you like me to stop or slow down?! "
  3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, 'When you are in your casket and friends and family are talking about you, what would you like them to say?'
The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies, 'I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!'
 

The Pastor:

A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.

At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis 3:10.'

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.' Genesis 3:10 reads, 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was naked.'
 

Ben Franklin:

Most folks believe that Ben Franklin discovered electricity with his famous kite experiment.

Actually, a women made that discovery possible.

The real story was that Ben Franklin was lying in bed with his wife one night, leaned over and whispered something in her ear.

She told him to go fly a kite. The rest is history.
 

3 Men on a Hill:

There were three men on a hill with their watches.
 
The first man threw his watch down the hill and it broke
.
The second man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.
The third man threw his watch down the hill, walked all the way to the bottom, and caught it.

The other two men were puzzled and asked the third man how he did it.
The third man said, "Easy. My watch is 5 minutes slow!"